I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
