You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
