It's Friday. Sex?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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