Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
