There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I just sharted jello shots
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
