Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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