yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
