Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
