sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
