it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We have so much sex to catch up on
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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