"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
