When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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