1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
