her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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