i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
