Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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