Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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