Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
