I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
