i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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