Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
