I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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