Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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