I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
