Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
