im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
