i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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