Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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