You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
