Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
