BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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