if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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