went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
