The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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