i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
