It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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