By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
