Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
now i know why i became what i already was.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize