take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize