Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
