He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
