Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
