She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
