told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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