ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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