I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize