I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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