Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
