so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
