I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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