this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am one with the molecules
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize