Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
