It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
