you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
