First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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