my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
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Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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