i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
