I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize