Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
