She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
