I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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