Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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