Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
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Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
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This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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